Your pocket aces are no good here.

Now I've been playing at the monthly poker game for over two years now. I've also done some dabbling in Vegas.

Shhhh, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Now I've seen some incredible things.

Like a royal flush dealt onto the table.

The number of times Ken has river danced to win a hand.

Frenchy winning last month.

(That one is still doesn't seem real.)

Andrew Higgins sitting at...nevermind.

Some really mind boggling things.

But nothing...and I mean nothing like what I witnessed this last session.

You really want to know don't you?

Well you are going to have to wait until I get to that part.

What have I told you about patience?

Better get some or your own damn blog.

So we have some new faces this time around. Some old friends and co-workers from our sequoia days were in town and decided to attend and have some fun. Unfortunately they no long live in the area, so they won't be regulars. Still it was fun to have them and new faces are always welcome.

Even Andrew.

And he isn't even a new face.

I think.

So being that Won does have any family obligations preventing him from hosting (honestly the man has to get his priorities straight), we are back at the lair of evil. From Won's left Frenchy, Fred (making his triumphant return), Clint, Jeff, Dirk (our two new, yet temporary faces), Myself, and Ken.

Without further ado I give you the poker.

Now as you know I busted out first last month which was the first time in a long time I was out first. But it also really stained my streak of doing well. Placing first or second for almost a year. With just one fifth place finish in the middle.

Well?

I'll let you know how I did in a minute. Though it doesn't start off good.

I let Ken take a large pot on the first hand of the night, but I don't feel bad. Won and Frenchy were in it too.

This means Ken has chip count.

It also means our returning champ doesn't.

Won then follows up shortly thereafter on a rather big pot taking Jeff and Dirk for some chips.
Frenchy then gets ass raped. (Hey those are his words not mine.) When Dirk has an ace - ten straight over his three of a kind.

Won then goes on a tear, taking a pot from Ken with a flush, Ken mucked.

Clint then folds to another Won flush.

Then Won takes Ken again with two pair queens and eights. Over Ken's two pair of tens and eights.

I get the feeling that I could have titled this post Revenge of the Retard. That is the kind of run he is on and we all know Won's 'play like a retard' strategy.

Play is rather average for the middle of the night. Most of us have the bulk of our chips still or has won it back. Clint has been on a slow bleed all night. Dirk has been up and down. But has some decent chips at this point.

Ken the buys out a large pot as we reach the no limit mark.

Then Fred hits Dirk hard going all in. Dirk calls and we see Kd Js from Fred and Ad 10s from Dirk.

Flop is 6d, jd, 4s.

Fred catches a pair of jacks and with the turn a 7h and river Qc. Fred takes a big chunk out of Dirk.

However very shortly after that Dirk goes all in against Jeff. Dirk shows 6s, 7s. Jeff called with Kh, Qd.

The flop: 4h, Jh, Jd.

They both have jacks with Jeff having the highest kicker.

Turn is Js. Making in a set of jacks for both.

The river?

6c.

Yup Dirk catches the six for a full house and takes a large bite out of Jeff. It also keeps him alive and back in the game with a decent chip stack.

Fred then bullies Dirk out of a pot taking a large bite out of his chips. Dirk also starts bleeding that stack out quite a bit losing several hands.

Jeff then goes all in with Fred and Ken calling. Jeff has pocket kings and with slop on the board Ken and Fred muck their cards after Jeff shows his.

I then double up against Fred with a pair of kings to Fred's pair of fives.

Dirk shortly thereafter bust Fred out for the night and regaining some of his chips back.

Then comes the hand of the century. Seriously the straight flush that was dealt to the table is nothing compared to the monumental act of retardedness I am about to witness.

Pre-flop Dirk goes all in he has about 8 or 9 grand in chips. The rest of us fold until we get to Won.

Who looks at his cards.

Asks what the bet is.

Thinks about it.

States he feels good about it.

And calls.

Now he still has a large stack from the run he went on early and he has taken a few more decent hands along the way. Still this is going to take a deep chunk out of him if he loses.

Everyone left folds.

They turn up the cards and we see:

Dirk has pocket aces.

Won has 7 2 unsuited.

Now for those of you who don't know this is the worst starting hand there is in Texas hold' em. They are too far apart to help form a straight. And being unsuited greatly reduces your chances of a flush.

Against the best starting hand of pocket aces.

And worse it wasn't like Won bet first, he has done it before, as have others including myself. Going all in to buy the blinds. If you get called it is the chance you take on a bluff like that.

But to call an all in with it. Well either your name is Ken and you can river dance like no one else.
Or you are the biggest retard on the face of the planet.

And we all know how Won likes to play.

So the table is going crazy thinking Won is about to eat crow and Dirk is going to double up.

Then we get the flop.

2h, 7h, 4s.

Did you catch that?

Won has two pair and now holds the advantage.

Dirk needs an ace to stay alive.

I told you I've never seen anything like this before.

Turn is a 9h.

One card left for Dirk to stay alive.

River is a 5d.

And that folks is all she wrote. Won bust out Dirk and takes home the pot. With the hammer over a pair of pocket aces.

I still can't believe it. That he called with that hand. Anyone else at the table would have made the same play as Dirk. But to get called with the hammer and lose really has to hurt.

To quote: "I've seen shit that would turn you white."

I honestly think I can now safely say that I have seen it all.

But I make Won pay for that a bit later then I go all in after the turn having caught and inside straight. Busting him out for the night.

I then bust out Frenchy with a pair of jacks over his queen high.

Quickly thereafter I take out Clint, who has been on an incredible slow bleed all night. I'm not even sure he won a hand the entire night.

Then I finish off Jeff who was still just hanging on.

This leaves myself and Ken to duke it out. I have a large chip advantage over him.

We push back and forth for a while. When he finally goes all in. I call with Kc 2c.

Ken shows Qh, 3c.

Flop is 6s, As, 4c.

No help, my king kicker still hanging on.

Turn is a 4d.

Followed by the river of Ad.

We both have two pair but my king takes it over his queen.

That would be a frenchy.

That is all she wrote. I have regained my title and also busted out last months winner to take the side pot.

With that I will leave you with the quote of the night.

"There is no such thing as a good frenchy."