The Iliad and the Odyssey

Four long years.

That is a long time.

Four years of blood, sweat, tears, aggravation, joy, panic, and uncertainty are about to come to an end.

Tomorrow my wife takes her Anesthesia Certification exams to officially complete her journey and become a CRNA.

I'm elated, nervous, and mostly surprised she is at this point.

Why?

Many moons ago, while looking for a place to live, we were discussing career paths in the car.

Myself being in IT listed a number of options for what I could do and the kind of money I could make.

She plainly tells me that the most she can make is it she became a CRNA (That is a Certified Registered Nurse of Anesthesia).

"Oh? How much do they make?" I ask.

"I would triple my hourly wage." She replies.

"Wow! So why don't you do that?" I ask.

"It's boring work. All they do is push gas." Is the answer.

Now my wife is a Nurse, and I will say that in the truest sense of the word. She loves to work on sick patients. She lives for the difficult cases and intense situations. It is not only her job, but her passion. Granted there are some less then savory aspects of it that she doesn't like. Things that shall remain unmentioned, but none the less it is what she truly loves to do. So I didn't really question this answer at all.

So knowing this fact we now move ahead two years. We are now married and happily planning where we want to move forward with our lives now that we are settled and together.

In an odd move my wife switches to a lab based environment where she is installing pacemakers and other heart related hardware. The idea was to work 4 day a week and no weekends to have more time with me. However this position doesn't sit well with her since she is used to 3 days a week with more down time between workdays.

However something happens while she is in there. She actually meets and worked with CRNA's. Seeing them, working with them, and talking with them she discovers that their work isn't simply pushing gas. As she so thought. Over a course of a few months she becomes more interested with what they do and curious. It should be noted that Her "pushing gas" comment stems from nursing school. Where in a half day rotation that is all she saw one do.

Now however she has worked with one on a crashing patient. Watched the decisions that they made and were allowed to make regarding the patients health.

One night she mentions this too me.

So I ask, "Well can you follow them around one day."

"Yes nurses can shadow someone from another department to see if they are interested in the setting, the people, and the environment they would be working in."

They allow this since you only see brief tastes of different types of nursing work in school.

So she sets it up to go one day and really see what they do.

Before she even sets her bag down when she got home that day I knew what the answer was. The look in her eye, the excitement in her voice, and her whole demeanor were summed up by her next words:

"You would not believe the things I get to do! The abilities that I have. Things that I would not be able to do otherwise unless my name said M.D. after them."

The ball was set in motion that day and there was no looking back.

Now I should mention that the schooling to do this is a long full time program. No working no income and 24 to 28 straight months depending on the program.

This was early 2001. It was months of retaking old classes that were required to be updated. Taking Graduate based classes that some schools required. Planning and setting our finances to handle this change. Days of typing and filling out all the application paper work for eleven different schools that she was applying to.

The waiting for those schools to reply.

The days of interviews sometimes up to 5 hours long.

Getting accepted into a local school so we didn't have to move for two years.

Myself getting laid off two days later.

The uncertainty of our financial situation (don't worry no matter what she was going). Don't worry I found good work several months before she started.

24 months of pure hell, full class loads, full clinical hours in the OR. Myself picking up the slack with the household chores. The brutal school politics, the massive amounts of information she had to assimilate. The stress, and flat out everything that she was forced to go through. As the quote in the movie the Shawshank Redemption says: "crawled to freedom through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can't even imagine, or maybe I just don't want too" seem appropriate for what she went through.

Finally graduating this past August.

It now all come down to tomorrow.

I might turn blue holding my breath.

But I just want to say that I give her all the credit in the world in putting herself through all that to get into a position where she will love what she is doing more the ever.

To her I say congratulations, Good luck, and I love you.

It should all end tomorrow.

Warp speed Scotty!

Holy Speed Racer Batman!!!

Ok, with the wife finished with school and about to take her board exams. It was time to get a new computer together. I am doing this so she may have my old one to play World of Warcraft on. Yes, she loves the game and I give her credit for not playing the last to months as she finished school and studied for her exams.

But with the test looming Saturday I knew she was going to want to play and soon.

So I set a budget...

...and threw it out the window.

Ok, so not that bad, I only came in $500 over budget, but I figured we have lots of stuff to pay off once she starts working so my logic: Get it now while the getting is good.

Now I usually upgrade to new hardware a step or two behind the high end of the hardware curve. This usually seems to be a good price point to get a lot of bang for you buck without breaking the bank.

My old system:

Shuttle SN95G SFF*
P4 - 2.8 Hz
512MB RAM (later upgraded to 1GB)
ATI 9600XT
WD Raptor 36GB
Liteon DVD-R +/-

Now I spent $1100 back in the fall of 2003. I could have easily spent more on a 3.2Ghz CPU and a 9800XT video card. But I would have been set back an additional $950 to do that. Money I simply didn't have.

But the system was fast and still running great today. Which is why the wife is going to get it. The point is would I have seen a big difference in performance back then if I spend the extra cash? Probably not or maybe very little. Simply not worth the extra cost.

Now setting my budget @ the same $1100 I looked at what I could get.

Shuttle SN25P SFF*
AMD 64 2.2Ghz
1GB RAM
Nvidia 6800GT 256MB
WD 72GB Raptor

Not shabby and I was coming in at $1200+

But I priced out a slightly larger system

Shuttle SN25P SFF*
AMD 64 X2 2.2Ghz 4200+
2GB RAM
Nvidia 7800GT 256MB
2 WD 36GB Raptors RAID 0**

Only $1600, $500 over my budget and $400 over the system I had priced.

My thought is that hardware will last a long time, before I ever have to buy again. And the price of a 4800+ X2 and a 7800GTX would take the system cost up to $2800, and am I really going to see that performance. Probably not anytime soon. So screw it. I have this chance lets do it and the money is right. Google the benchmarks, the performance of those components is only slightly higher then what I chose.

Well last night September 21st all my hardware arrived. After a few hiccups getting the BIOS updated and getting a working floppy in the system (it isn't staying it is only there to get the RAID drivers loaded during the windows setup, after I probably not need it again, and I have a USB floppy if I really need it). Other then that everything went smoothly.

One note, HOT DAMN!!! I don't think I've seen system files copied to disk that fast unless I have a high end server with some major IO subsystem hardware. As of this posting I have just the base OS and the updated driver for everything on it.

My initial thought. Two words, really fucking fast. This thing boots to the windows logon screen in seven seconds. SEVEN!!! My old system is only @ 15 on a good day. Usually around 18,19. Everything runs like butter there is no waiting ever. And I have yet to put my other software on.

I'll post more when I've had a chance to really put this thing through its paces, but I don't think I am going to be disappointed in the least.

It's just too back hot chicks don't dig fast computers like they do fast cars. :(

*SFF is for Small Form Factor PCs. These are small boxes with a custom motherboard and cooling system. I love how small they are and they are easy to carry to LAN parties. Couple that with a 20" LCD Keyboard, mouse and CD tote. I only need on trip in from the car. They days of large cases are over for me unless I ever build a Media box for video storage and creation. In which case I would have a lot of drives, optical devices, and video input/output jacks.

**Now I have never been a fan of RAID0, sure it's fast but if 1 drive dies you loose the whole volume. Now thinking about what someone said to me. What are you really storing on there? Good point. I have a server with RAID5 that all the important stuff is on. That and once I am done loading software, I create an image of my machine so I can restore it quickly if a hardware failure does happen. So I went with the dual drives since the cost was only $40 over the single drive.

You called my all in with WHAT?!!?

Since the Diabolical Mr. Kim thinks the winner of our monthly poker contest should post a blog about the session, I figured I would humor him regarding this matter.

Click here for a rundown of who was there and his ramblings (and the rules).

Poker is a fickle game, its part skill, part luck, and part out thinking the Sofa Kings sitting at the table. While I am not claiming to be the worlds greatest player( if I was I certainly wouldn't be doing what I do for a living). I understand the game and I come to play every month. Generally I make it late into the night and in the running for the money, but it has been over a year since I took down the pot.

With that being said, the last 4 months have been a cold day in hell. Simply because I've been catching a cold wave of cards that would make Hillary Clinton look like Mrs. Claus. 7-2, 3-7, 8-4, 2-8. Not even suited at all. It was so bad I wanted to bring a wanted poster of a face card just so I remember what they looked like.

The other thorn in my side has been even when I did get a decent hand (rarely) someone would stay in with a weaker hand and inevitably catch the cards they need to take me down. *cough* Ken *cough*

Finally, though this month I was able to shake off the frigid cards and actually get some playable hands and low an behold they held up.

First I started the evening strong with a pair of pocket aces. Which I meekly raised pre flop, gathered some action. The flop was a wide array of rainbow garbage, so with it still early I figured screw it, and bet the pot. Action follow with Won and Ken (I believe). Turn was no help to any one so again I hammered the pot. Only Won called. River, nothing. I think you can tell what I did next. Won called thinking I was bluffing hard and would hate himself in the morning if he didn't. Poor bastard had a pair of 9s and I took down a decent pot rather early.

It never hurts to have more chips then you started with early in the night.

Now I would like to point out that at the end of the night Won mentioned that I don't bluff much anymore. Oh contraire, I do bluff and in fact I had three hands I bluffed on during the course of the night. Everyone folded on those and I never showed my cards (Hell I don't show them if I do have it). However while that fact is untrue, I will state for the record that I more or less have picked my bluffs a little more carefully then I did before. Partly because some players never have bluffed, those that are calling your shit have never not had it, or those players that have shit and call it only to suck it out on the river. Far too often for my taste to play that game with them anymore.

My poker motto has become "Choose Wisely."

(Bonus point to who can name what movie I get that from.)

After that it was kinda slow, give a little take a little. I lost on a couple of good hands, but I comfort myself that I had lost to a good hand that was in place by the turn. No bad beats. Overall my chip stack is down, but I still have enough to make some noise if I can catch the cards right.

After being down I get a nice boost taking Ken with Js - 7s to his Js and lower pair.

Won takes another chunk out of Ken, then Dave busts him out catching a boat on the river. For once the lucky bastard isn't catching the cards he needs.

Then comes the key hand of the night. Sitting on A-2 suited, I call the big blind, @ $200 (which Won was sitting on) just to see the flop. SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL!!! The flop is 2-3-2. I have trip 2s and an Ace kicker. I'm thinking Won isn't going to see this coming. The only other hand I would have sat in on is a pair of 2s do to what I am about to. Betting is to me, I check. Won thinking I got nothing, bets 4k trying to scare me off. Thinking he is twisting my nipples I surprise him by coming back over the top and raising all in. Now Won has a higher chip count at this point, but I am sitting on about 15k. If he calls and loses he would still be in, but seriously down in chips, I would take about 90%. That or he busts my ass out. Personally I'm thinking he is going to walk away (hell I've seen him fold a King high straight). But no! He actually sacks up and calls me.

You could see the expression on is face like he was just kicked in the jimmy when he saw my A-2. I think he had a pair of 10s or Js, No help on the Turn and nothing on the River. I have just cut one of Won's legs out from underneath him and I have a large advantage in chip count.

I then watch Clint, Dave, Frenchy and Won (Who is hanging on at this point) duke it out while I don't see much in the way of hands. Clint takes down Frenchy and Won takes a big bite out of Dave and Clint each to stay alive. I then grind down Dave on a few hands, and get him all in while I sit on two pair (on the flop) to his one.

Blinds go around a few times when with Clint stealing a hand to get himself back in the game and takes some chips off of Won.

A few more blinds change hands when clint puts me all in preflop. I'm sitting on 6-7c and figure why not. I don't think he has that strong of a hand and he shows a pair of 10s. Flop is 6, J, 7. Two pair and Clint gets no help on the turn and river.

Now the canuck is bitching like a little school girl that his 10s didn't hold up, but hell in April he and I were heads up and twice he had chip count on me. I ground him down twice to get him all in with A - 9, A - 10. Both times preflop I had the better hand only to watch him suck out the exact cards he needed to beat me. Take it like a man, can't get it your way every time. Trust me.

This leaves me and the diabolical Mr. Kim heads up. Now it was the next hand or two he goes all in trying to steal the blind. Problem is he has a crappy 8 - 6 unsuited, and I have a small pair, so I call. Won gets no help and I take him down to win the night.

Now I should point out at the end of the night I was getting a little cocky, to those that it bothered, too bad. It was nice to finally get a break and have some playable hands through the night and have a chance to win. That is all I really ask for, to be in the mix late, and getting cards decent enought to bet with from time to time. That and good hands were actually holding up and not getting beat by a suck out on the river. It's been a long time and I wanted to enjoy the moment. Life sucks get a fucking helmet. :D